Ponni

My farewell to you, Ponni. Just now, the house is filled with emptiness without you in it; and with anguish that you are gone so soon, so young.  But all this will pass. What will remain are your memories. In how many ways will I remember you.... 

- I will remember your melting eyes filled with absolute, unconditional love, that gave, and gave, expecting nothing in return. Can I love like that? 
- How did you manage to look hesitant and yet confident at the same time, when you thrust your enquiring face into mine?
- where did you learn to trust like that? every moment of my life will be a learning, to trust like you did. 
- You cut through the wind like a cheetah, you were poetry in motion. I want to run, and be one with the wind and earth, like you did. 
- With what speed and unerring accuracy you went for the throat when you hunted, in just one swoop. I will just keep trying, keep practicing, for that singleminded attention and clarity of intent. 
- When you gotta play, you gotta play. Kick up a mud storm, topple the water bowl, knock down a couple of other things, and put your all into play. 
- I am in awe of your spirit. with what spirit you battled pain, still reached for that ball to play, still went on red alert with your hairs on end when you spotted danger, still tried to stand up and go out to take a piss, when you were labouring hard for breath and must have been suffering...
- I have not seen Anything as beautiful as you when you were giving birth to your babies, and took care of them, and taught them to play, to hunt, to suckle, to eat, to survive... I keep discovering the mother in me, looking at you
- - how I laugh when I think of people getting scared of your largeness; little did they know of how gentle you were... 
- I am remembering so many little and big quirky and unique things that made you, you, that I could get mad at, be irritated about, feel moved and all squishy inside, want to hug you tight, or just keep out of your sight, and simply love you through it all. And realising that I am unique and quirky in so many ways and you loved all of me. 

Thank you for sharing you with me. And thank you for waiting for us to be by your side to breathe your last. I will miss you immensely.