How to Start and Keep a Habit

Almost everything is a habit.  Or becomes one.  Of course, the source is a value or intention or feeling or coping mechanism - any of the intangibles.  However they manifest over time as tangible habits.

So, how then can we start new ones and maintain them?  Almost all of us have starting trouble, and / or, once started, maintenance trouble. I certainly do.

One of the primary ways to start a new habit: Just start it.  I mean that.  If we start making lists, planning and scheduling, that means we are procrastinating. None of that.  I have learnt that I jut have to get down to business; no thinking about it.

Image from sporttechie.com

However, one technique that seems to help with starting a new habit / practice, is to do so with an event of some sort. This works for me because 'reverence' is a moving factor (for me). If I start a habit with an important event, or even a celebration, that will in some way almost sanctify the whole deal, and I am surer to revere the process and follow it.  And I think that this is an Indian trait.  Most ordinary Indians seem to be driven by faith in God, and hence starting something in the name of God is more guaranteed to continue.  This seems to work for me too, though not in the 'break-coconut-for-Ganesha' way* (although why not!).  For instance, the early hours before dawn breaks hold a special meaning for me.  For unexplainable reasons (and / or those reasons are not within the scope of this piece), those couple of hours are very sacred, and being awake at this time and doing whatever it is I am doing, becomes very important.  So I try and see if I can somehow, in some way, bring a new habit or some component of it into that space, until it becomes a actual habit.

It is also possible that starting a practice as part of an event makes it public and brings in a factor of accountability for some.  One could put this onus on oneself to make it known to friends, family or others who may be doing something similar, and hence make oneself accountable.  It is also true that one is ALWAYS accountable to one's self.

Now to keep that habit.  Over time, I have figured out some ways that seem to work for me.  There will definitely be other ways, and many more corollary ones that you will find or would have found en route. The following have helped me become consistent with, and make a new practice into a habit:

1) Pegging it with an older habit:  I find pegging to be infinitely helpful.  I link the new practice with an old habit.  One needs to take care that the older practice is something that one enjoys and it is not a chore or an obligation, or that it is a regular necessity that one doesnt even need to think about, to follow.  For instance, getting up and brushing teeth (if that is a confirmed thing for you of course). It has also helped me to peg related practices to each other, rather than completely unrelated ones.  For example, if you want to practice drinking more water, it would help to peg it with a food or water related habit or your movement in the kitchen (or wherever drinking water is, in your home / workplace), rather than pegging it with, say, checking eMail. But, whatever works.  It's interesting and insightful to play with this and see what kind of pegging works for you.

2) Starting small:  I have learnt the very hard way that the importance of small steps cannot be overemphasised.  In fact, I am still learning.  We seem to tend towards making grand plans, starting with a bang, intensely, and the initial energy and enthusiasm fizzles out the moment we hit an obstacle.  Or like a short distance running competition, the burst of energy burns itself out.  We need to think of this more as an ongoing marathon.  So, take small steps.  Dont give up on all the junk food you are having AND include lots of vegetables and fruits in your diet AND start stocking up on organic foods AND learning / trying out new millet recipes, all in the same week.  Perhaps concentrate only on including more vegetables and fruits - or better still, start just with including one fruit a day to what you eat.  You will slowly and automatically start making the adjustments to accommodate that one fruit.  One step at a time, and you will go a long way.  I rediscover this constantly!

3) An attitude of learning:  This may well be the hardest part.  If and when you slip from the practice, and mostly you will, take a breath, take a step in, and look.  At what's happening inside and outside.  What triggered the slip? How were you feeling just as you gobbled up that packet of chips? Later? It's easier said than done, but it needs to be said - it just will NOT help to play the self-blame game.  Self-flagellation is an indulgence of the trickster mind to keep you comfortable and lazy.  Give it a few long breaths (long exhalations), tell your mind "all is well" and that you're okay with some discomfort.  And you're on your way.  Until the mind tries a couple of new tricks.  An attitude of learning, and hence, watchfulness will help.

There are a couple of supportive situations that one can in addition create for oneself:

A) Preparation - I've got to prepare myself with the basics before I can go rock climbing.  Similarly, just check in with yourself to see if you are in alignment with what you want to start; you may well have to go with some intermediate steps and take it from there. (Its almost like another way of saying 'start small')

B) Environment - If you are trying to cut down junk food, it will help to clear the shelves of all junk food packets, and stay away from outings with people who you know will buy / consume junk stuff as part of the entertainment.  Stay away at least until the intention has become a habit.  You may find that you dont miss those outings much in any case.  It helps to constantly re-arrange your environment to suit the pursuit.

These are some start-offs that help me immensely whenever I am trying to start something new, and I keep discovering corollary or new ones all the time.  Happy Habitting!

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* In Hindu culture, it is deemed auspicious to start anything new or travel etc with Lord Ganesha's blessings, and this is typically done by breaking a coconut in front of the temple, and offering as prasaadam (sanctified / blessed by God)
  

The Gamut of Human Experience

the wonder of a rainbow;

the joy of kittens playing;

the intensity of a forest fire;

the achievement of reaching a milestone;

stepping into squeamish quagmire,

the fear of death.

an inexplicable, spontaneous connection;

mother earth's compassion;

the stillness of a mountain lake... 

What is the difference between Imagination and fantasy

Someone asked me this question during a discussion on visualisation and fantasising. It is not a matter of the difference between them.

Patanjali's Yoga sutra states:

shabdajnananupati vastusunyo vikalpaha - verse 1.9
Our minds can imagine things that do not exist in actuality.

The Yoga sutra mentions imagination as a movement (function) of the mind, along with four others. Inventions, fantasies, artistic creations - all are in this realm.  Imagination - it is such a powerful ability.  Children have it in abundance, and it allows them to be so creative and malleable to learning. It is the power of imagination which allows us much (if not all) of art, of innovation, invention, visualisation...

The imaginative capacity is a necessary one for human existence and endeavour. However, what happens when imagination becomes a compulsion?  By compulsion here, I mean getting carried away with one's imagination.  Anything not in one's control is compulsion.  For example, TV watching is a compulsion with many today.  What usually starts as an escapism or a coping mechanism for stress gradually takes over one's life as a compulsion.  Or when any single attribute of life and living is given undue attention over others, the balance tilts and this may become a compulsion.  Like in the case of imaginative capacity and compulsive imagination. The former is necessary and the latter is a sure path to disaster.

Image from prits-dreams.blogspot.com

We see this phenomenon played out in the lives of artists and creative people again and again in various ways and at different levels of intensity and impact.  As long as it remains an imaginative capacity, it remains under the artists' control, and once it moves into the domain of compulsion, it controls the artist.  This seems to be an edge that artists dance on and around.  One side is imagination and the other side, compulsion - getting lost in one's imagination.  Every creative person seems to be walking or tottering or dancing or playing with this edge. For example, the performer on stage hopping between illusion and reality.  We see this happening with some extremely creative people, over time they are lost to the world of reality.  Artists (I use the word 'artist' for people who are in touch* with their imaginative capacity) have to necessarily work with this edge, whether they are conscious of it or not. In fact, not being aware of it, an artist drowns in compulsion.

As long as one remains on that edge, creativity seems to be one's lover.  Staying on that edge welcomes creativity.  Staying on that edge means not getting carried away and lost in one's imagination.  What does it mean to stay on that edge? How to stay with that line?  By taking the apavarga** location, the location of attention and watchfulness. Staying on that line means the artist can actually step back and watch her own performance. And dance the dance.  Not being able to observe would mean that over time, the artist would (may) tip over into compulsive patterns and behaviour and this can lead to madness of some sort.

Image from civasakthi.blogspot.com

Yoga is about discovering that observer location within oneself.  And with diligent and constant practice, that line or edge may actually expand, become an all-inclusive seamless expanse, simply space, where Nataraja would dance his cosmic dance, Saraswathi would play her Veena, Parvati or Nandi on the mridangam, Vishnu could be playing a flute or cymbals... and all life could be a dancing of Ananda Tandava.


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* I say "in touch" because I think that every being in creation has an inherent capacity to imagine and create; Patanjali has stated it as one of the fundamental categories for the mind's movements. It is simply that some are more in touch with it than others.

** 'Apavargam' is a location of observation, inquiry and learning of the seeker / student / learner and one that would lend clarity and understanding, as juxtaposed with 'bhogam', which is a location of being stuck in the old comfortable patterns of seeking pleasure and avoiding pain.

What is Yoga?

A friend asked me to write a simple essay on "what is yoga?", 'simple' being the keyword. The following is an attempt:

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Today Yoga has come to mean many different things to many people.  It is a vast ocean that contains a plethora of different schools and styles of teaching.  The good news is that each of them seems to work and deliver results, for those who patronise them.  It is probable that there is so much tamas (lethargy) pervading all aspects of human life in these times - our lifestyles, the food that we consume, occupations, our recreation, that, when the body starts to move even a little bit, and we stretch hitherto unfelt muscles, and give ourselves that bit of quiet time and space, then no matter what Yoga we choose to call it, our bodies and minds seem to say “thank you” and sink into it.  

However, what is Yoga really?  Is Yoga only a set of aasanas and praanayaama (PY) breathing techniques to improve health?  Is one school of Yoga teaching a different Yoga from the other?  Is Yoga primarily to improve physical health, and thereby better the quality of life?

Let’s park these general questions for a bit and come to you and me.  What is Yoga to you?  What are your aspirations in life?  Do you want to be happy?  What does being successful mean to you?  Are you pursuing a passion with everything in you?  What is your purpose?  Do you feel that you need a purpose?  Are you in search of one?

Let me tell you a story.

The Breath Shoots the Arrow

Archery is a very ancient sport.  In Japan it is still practiced as an art very much in the same way as it was done many years ago.  The most important practice in this art is breathing.  One holds the big bow, notches the arrow, and bends the bow during the inhalation, holds the breath and waits calmly for the "perfect moment" when the arrow "shoots itself" and the breath comes out slowly.  The perfect shot is the one where the archer's breath is smooth and easy and his body shows no sign of strain throughout the shooting.  It took the archer years of practice before he could coordinate the breath with the shooting so that the whole movement was tranquil.  (- Raghu Anantanarayanan, Learning Through Yoga, Published by Krishnamacharya Yoga Mandiram, Chennai)

A sutra in Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra states this as,    

                Prayathnashaithilya anantasamaapatthibhyaam | II.47

                Mindful action flows with effortless ease

Have you noticed the phenomenon that you would have been searching frantically for something, and you wouldn’t find it; you would find it at some other time when you were making no effort to search for it?  Effortless effort.  That is Yoga.

Yoga is to do with one’s entire life, and every thought, feeling and action in it. 

It is to do with our relationships with ourselves and the world. 

It is to do with how your breath changes when you get angry.

It is to do with how your voice softens and the lines of your body flow when you talk to a loved one.

It is to do with how weak or energetic your body feels at the end of the day. 

And more.

There is an outer self that is engaging with the world and its problems, with life, constantly.  This self is getting hit, hurt, falling, struggling, feeling happy, sad, jealous, and so on.  There is another self that resides in your inner space, watching all the drama of life.  This is the anchored and coherent self that is able to watch and listen, and provide the space for the external self to act intelligently.  If we allow it to. People catch glimpses of it or are made aware of it all the time. 

An artist may tap into that self inspired by nature, and create works of brilliance. 

A tragedy may open the lock for an ordinary person and enable her to act with spontaneous intelligence and empathy. 

Laughter and play with an infant may dissolve all residues of fears and insecurities for those precious moments, leaving a mother crystal clear to reflect her child. 

This inner self just observes, and is vibrant and wise simply on the strength of that non-judgmental observation.  When one becomes alive to deeper and deeper levels of this self and space, outward action is gathered, coherent and intelligent. 

Becoming alive to that inner self every moment, is Yoga.  Hence Yoga is not an end, but a journey, a process.  So where does aasana and praanayaama come into this?  It could be a start.  For, the physical body is one of the primary indicators of overall wellbeing.  And working with the breath is key to this process.  The breath is the subtle connection between the mind and body and through the breath each works on the other.  Why do we say “take a deep breath” to someone who is agitated?  A lot can begin to happen in that space of one breath.  And that "lot" can be the start of true yoga practice.