Jab Harry Met Sejal

An appraisal of Harry and Sejal's meeting, many years after it actually happened.  

Image from Kathmandutribune.com

This is a leisurely, lazy, alright-why-not piece on this Imtiaz-Ali-meets-Bollywood-Stardom movie, Jab Harry Met Sejal.  I really love the original of all these Meeting movies, When Harry Met Sally. I also love the Imtiaz Ali version, Jab We Met.  So I waited breathlessly for Jab We Met 2 (Jab Harry Met Sejal).  But ended up catching my breath and actually watching it sometime this year only.  I read some of the not-so-favourable reviews and hadnt wanted to get disappointed because Imtiaz Ali is one of my favourite Tellers of modern Indian Love stories. Well, now what I am feeling is ambivalent.  Not so disappointed and yet a little disappointed. It has Ali's touch of love for sure. How he narrates the course of love and dances around and through those fine boundaries that romantic love unwittingly transgresses is definitely there. Watch the movie to get a taste of Imtiaz Ali's world of love and romance.  He usually remains within mainstream Bollywood lines and tries to stretch those lines from the inside by depicting complex nuances and shades of love between black and white. 

The film also has a taste of Bollywood stardom. Well, more like mouthfuls of it. In the bigger than life form of Shah Rukh Khan of course. If you have never been to Europe, then you must go on this proxy Europe tour with an aging but still handsome and charming SRK as your tour guide. I think he was actually meant to be a grumpy and insulting man who has been dragged to repeat a tour (grudgingly) in a futile search for a bauble, by a nauseatingly innocent woman in search of herself. He starts out well. But he loses the act very quickly and becomes his charming Shah Rukh Khan self soon. I mean, come on, this is SRK we are talking about. He cant surely be anything but "Raj, Naam to Suna hi Hoga"? But the sprightly Anushka Sharma carries her act through quite convincingly for most of the movie, with her Gujarati accent and calling Harry, Hairy. However, maybe falling in love changed her fundamental mannerisms and accent?  She loses it some time in the second half of the movie, and I was wondering if I was looking at a repeat performance of "Taaniji" from Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi.  But, I remember that we are still in the frames of an Imtiaz Ali love story - and I realise the story is trying to as well.  

The characterisation is intact. One or both of the protagonists are usually in search of themselves or some part of themselves in Ali's movies and love helps them discover, and transforms them. Of course for the better. This is true blue Indian romantic love we are talking about, ne? Here, the woman trying to come to terms with her sexuality, coming in to her own, getting comfortable and gaining confidence in her own skin is a journey that we get to see, albeit in slightly immature, teenagerish ways. But hey, who am I to judge? To each her own, right?  A man losing his inner "womanising" self through falling in love and finding a home within himself as well as an actual returning home, is perhaps the other journey.  The man's journey could have been more compelling, more attentive, in its portrayal.  And yet, we do get to see the subtle inner conflicts that arise, the contrariness and the resonances that humans can display in the throes of romance. We are told quite upfront that Harry is a 'womaniser' and Sejal sees this truth, and has no value judgement about it. That is a refreshing difference in Bollywood cinema. She also sees the underlying truth of his loneliness. That is a subtle thread of relationship and understanding that was captured quite touchingly and yet without fanfare and raucousness.  Here is a Harry unmasking his flamboyant colours to discover a sensitive self within, and here is a Sejal who is coming out of her hitherto protected, cocooned existence to find her bold and flamboyant self.  

There is also the usual spiritual, psychological, Rumi undercurrent that is there in Ali's movies that sort of laughs along with life's ironies (or feels poignant, like in Highway). Think about it - in this film there is a gem, something priceless that they are searching for everywhere outside and this leads them on a merry dance, and ultimately she finds it with herself.  And by the time she finds it, we and possibly she as well, realise that the real treaure that she is searching for is something else, which is also with(in) her.  Call me whimsical, but that seems to me like a metaphor for life's search.  "The treasure is within" or some such!  (There is also the phrase from the movie itself and its song, Jeeve Soniya - "What you seek is seeking you")

The music pieces are good as stand-alones but do not really flow with the story.  Like I said, if you have a leisurely, lazy Sunday, and as an absolute fan of Imtiaz Ali you have watched every other movie of his, then Jab Harry Met Sejal is an alright-why-not, to complete the Ali collection. 

"Smut" or Female Pornography

Did you know that romance novels (Mills and Boon, Harlequin, other single title romances...) are slangly called "smut" or female pornography? Well, this post is a rambling about the romance novel because it has been the subject of intense and casual conversations (both face-to-face and online) more than a few times in different contexts in the last ten days or so.

Most modern urban women would agree with the statement that the romance novel is probably their second best friend, or at the very least a comfortable cushion. It is probably the most widely read genre (it is being called a genre by the literature people?! as well as the Romance Novelists Association who first called it that, and so let us also go by that name) by women and also churned out every year at a very high speed. Today there are more and more romance novels that are in sync with the changing times - modern career women, enterprising, independent, spunky and struggling against odds in a male-dominated workplace, balanced relationships between the hero and heroine and so on. Right?

This may be true but this is only a part of the picture. Looking again and thinking without the worship holding the kidnapped, a victim of the kidnapper (!@I?!!! - a devoted reader would only defend her novel), one may perceive that there is more than meets the eye. There is more than meets the eye in these times especially, because everything is played out so subtly. Earlier where there were skimpily dressed women on the front cover, today we probably have landscapes, the bare-chested man perhaps or even profiles of both the hero and heroine kissing maybe. Earlier where there was no delusion in the language of the novel and so perhaps the reader's interpretation too of the portrayal, of the conventional positions of men and women as protector and protected respectively, today the language is outwardly that of modern feminism. However there is a subliminal dissemination of the same stereotypical roles, labels and patterns that feels even dangerous sometimes just because it is veiled and cloaked in language appropriate to the current trends. There is a whole system of metalanguage at insidious work here. Perhaps 'insidious' is a strong word, and perhaps individual authors are not to blame for this.

One of the important aspects of the romance novel that reveals itself to someone who wants to examine it, is that it is the heroine's perspective. The romance novel is mostly for women and mostly by women. It is by now quite intensively studied and surveyed (in the UK and USA), that the romance novel is the comfort and escapism from daily humdrum for scores of women. A casual perusal of the situation here (urban India largely) indicates a similar situation. All the scholars seem to agree on this. The matter of concern is that it is also an invisible guide to 'how to be a perfect woman and a heroine' and 'how to get the perfect hero to become your boyfriend / husband' or even 'what is true love?'. We have to understand the origin of this genre for understanding this aspect - England. The first romance novels are a delight, whether it is Samuel Richardson or Jane Austen or even Georgette Heyer. But they provide an insight into English society at that time, which had an enormous list of Do's and Dont's, how to behave in polite society, elaborate grooming rituals and etiquette and whatnot, for ladies and once a lady is out, her sole aim is to find and tie to herself in holy matrimony, a Man. A Hero. Of course, so we also have the books which tell the stories of rebel women, stories of women who are not 'gentle', not born in elite families but in traders' families and so on... However, the ultimate aim of finding the man and preparing oneself for this has not fundamentally changed over the years and until date. Well, duffer! this is a romance novel, obviously - man meets woman, they fall in love, they struggle, then they unite, has to be the central plot. But of course! So why is it a matter of concern? Because these invisible guidelines condition our minds surreptitiously and tell women one way of leading their lives, one way of being and becoming a heroine, one-answer solutions for all problems of womanhood. Fortunately or unfortunately or propitiously or happily or unhappily (I am not sure I want to specify a particular qualifying adjective I should use here so I leave it to the reader to decide this, but there must be one!), it is primarily the woman's job to hook the man. That may sound crude, but it boils down to that when one removes the glossy packaging. She has to look, dress, speak, behave, eat, breathe... in a particular way to get this man. If she is not so, then the story is also about her transformation (in its crudest form, makeover) so that she is deserving of her Hero.

Believe it, THE code for being a female is very much present in the most rebellious stories of the earlier years as well as in the most 'progressive' and 'modern' stories of contemporary authors. I have read several of both kinds. Another matter of serious concern is that this code is today dazzling women who are barely into their teens. Should we even get into the details of this code? It is obvious and it is all around us, conditioning us and our children, especially the teenagers, in the form of advertisements, soaps, movies, the works. A friend pointed out a very interesting observation a couple of months back: the supplement paper of a leading national daily that is popular here (chennai) has almost on every alternate page if not every page, some mention of 'slimming' and having a perfect body - either in the form of food articles, or ads for gyms and cosmetics, or an interview with a beautician. You name it, it is there. And the marketing language is very clear - it is directed at women, the objective of all these pursuits for women is one, peer acceptance, and two, either getting into a relationship or maintaining one or even getting back an estranged boyfriend. An article in Tehelka Magazine, speaks about how teenagers today function on "American Remote control", describing the soaps that are being watched on television. Women, young and old are being groomed, polished and manicured with this code.

Let us now take a look at our Hero for whom all the above must be done. According to the romance novel, He is the Man in the men, the perfect being and epitome of manhood. He is always, either covertly or overtly in the position of the giver (of security, riches, status, recognition, validity in the eyes of society...) and the heroine in the position of the taker. It is simply that while this was explicit in the earlier novels, it is not so in the modern romance novels that are largely single title romances in paperback. If we deconstruct the language, we arrive at the same conclusions that the man has to be a "Hero" and neither can he be a physical weakling nor a "wimp". According to several studies and discussions on this issue, we have a perfectly manufactured and orchestrated hero, just as the perfectly groomed and conditioned woman.

Did you know that, "the 'Alphaman' was based on what Alan Boon referred to as a 'law of nature': that the female of any species will be most intensely attracted to the strongest male of the species, or the Alpha. In other words, the Hero must be absolutely top-notch and unique. The wimp type doesn't work. Women don't want an honest Joe,' Alan Boon seems to have said." For the uninitiated, Alan Boon was the son of Charles Boon who started the Mills and Boon company in the early 1930s in the UK, and one of the rules given to the authors was the "Alphaman" one. Although by now there have been many developments (for instance, Harlequin bought over M&B in the 70s and we have a large number of single title romance novels today), the alpha male seems to be a standard unwritten code among all romance authors.

So what have we here? A perfect hero, a perfect heroine, and the perfectly true love story. Herein is the third lesson: True Love. One of the most important rules is that for true love, it is a must to feel physical attraction of the kind described in these novels. And one must of course discover suddenly or over a period of time that one has fallen in love madly. So today we have a true love that can only be true one way. The result of this is that we have more and more women out there waiting for that chemistry, and waiting for that zip in their "heart" and zing in their "core" before they can commit. I know a couple of such women and have heard of many more. There will be many more waiting if the trend goes on because the truth is that neither are they such perfect women nor are there such perfect heroes. God forbid!

One corollary to this is also that we completely miss the hard work, the commitment, patience and time it takes in actuality to make an imperfectly perfect marriage or relationship. There are more and more young people out there who are not ready to give time to a relationship, they want it perfect, and now! And the responsibility of bringing perfection always belongs to the other in the relationship. What seemed like a natural phenomenon in the first bloom of "true love" becomes very difficult to accept or understand as time goes by - that it takes two to tango.

It is very easy to dismiss all this by saying that it is after all a story. Why make such a fuss over a story? This is exactly what I said half a dozen years ago. But I have come to understand what a foolish and simplistic belief that is. Stories have the power to transform people. And stories make you believe. They have done so now for all of the history of mankind. And we are just being naive if we say these are just stories and they do not have it in them to condition and direct minds. Just as naive as saying that advertisements have no impact on children. When we believe that this is 'just a story' we forget that many many times the stuff that we consume, we are made to consume because there are big stakes in the consumption, including the romance novel. As a matter of information, the Romance Writers of America and the Romance Novelists Association are two entities that are not simply a bunch of home makers alias authors who are able to put words on paper and put together a romance plot in a thrilling fashion. These are two significant groups which fund research and scholarship on romance and romance novels.

What makes it all even more worrying for me is the "American remote control" and that teenagers and young adults of urban India have a near-death grip on it and it wont take very long for the rest to follow. We now have the romance genre for the teenager. There is this new book called "Twilight" and it truly horrifies me, and not because the teen hero of the book is a werewolf. You can read one review here to see how all the stereotypes of the 'adult' romance novel are repeated here and quite in an empty fashion. Clearly, teenagers now are not credited with much intelligence. I have not read the book, but have read several excerpts, synopses and descriptions given by various people, both critics and devotees and a few reviews. These do not inspire me to pursue the book further, except faintly perhaps to understand what makes teenagers go gaga over it.

Having said all that, I have to add that there are some really good romance novels too. But unfortunate that in the tsunami of romance novels hitting shelves each year, these perhaps make for a few drops.

Claimer: The above are views of a lay reader who has read several hundreds of these romance novels including the master of the romance genre, Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, and still likes it best.

Pink Chaddi Campaign

A Review. 


I heard of the pink chaddi campaign a couple of days back and got an invitation on facebook to join the 'Consortium of Pubgoing, Loose and Forward women' which I rejected. I am happy to say that I am not pubgoing, I am not loose and I am not forward and I do not see the need to label myself any of the above to fight bully pseudo-moral tactics. I find the motive and the methods of this campaign completely disgusting and disrespectful to the spirit of  women. Where is the quality of fight and satyagraha? That such a cheap, disgraceful, petty act by a nobody in a corner of the world can cause a proportionately much much larger cheap, disgraceful and petty reaction by a large section of the urban-educated and internet surfing and online social networking woman population of the world just shows the quality of thought and response of us women. Wake up guys. We are making Muthalik! - Satish in a blog post, http://ibnlive.in.com/blogs/dpsatish/237/53146/how-media-made-muthalik.html.   We are validating local goons and lending them voice and media space, http://indian-reflections.blogspot.com/2009/02/media-hurry-to-insert-taliban-into.html by our thoughtless reaction. In our hurry to react, we women have cheapened ourselves thoroughly and reduced it all to a media hungama and joke. 

We have reduced the problems and issues of "women in this country having enough curbs in their lives" to the selfish, individual, urban educated woman's problem and conflict of consuming alcohol, going to the pub and living the free life as a man can and would. Grow up! I live in an area of chennai which has mixed income groups, and do you know that women as much as men there get regularly drunk and then go about their work the next day. These are women who face back breaking work the entire day starting 3 -4 a.m., possible physical abuse from husbands and children alike, possibly have only tea for breakfast and lunch unless one of the houses where they work show them charity, slog on till 11 or so in the night and face grinding poverty themselves so that their children get educated and lead more comfortable lives. What does our bloody pink chaddi campaign mean to them? Excuse the horrible pun - I am furious and laughing at the same time. We are clueless about how the majority of women in this country are fighting their own satyagraha every day of their lives, notwithstanding all the development, all the NGOs, all the self help groups and the income generating schemes and all the media hype that they may have encountered. We are clueless about the real issues that are facing women in this country, whether it is the plight of single old women increasingly left homeless and family less in both urban and rural scenarios, or it is the pathetic situation of tens of thousands of widows in Vidharba because of the farmer suicides, or it is the sexual abuse of girl children or the issue of how India is the destination of foreigners who cannot bear children and so need proxy mothers who sell their wombs so to speak, and go away for 10 months lieing to the their families in order to bear the child in unmentionable conditions... or, oh! The issues are numerous if we want to respond, fight, take action. Or, if we wanted to discuss something more glamourous, we could even discuss the movie 'Fashion' and its sensitive and real portrayal of the conditions of women in the Fashion world. Instead, what do we do? We react, and decide to get down and dirtier than the 'enemy' and flaunt our soiled underwear to the world. (Exact words: "Look in your closet or buy them cheap"). Are we so curbed after all, having social networks to support us, having families to back us up when we decide to utter war cries, having access to technology, television and whatnot, indeed, having the luxury of choice of going to the pub or not?

I went into the Facebook group and looked at some of the discussions... and if anything I got even more furious. The selfishness, ignorance of issues and mediocrity of the conversation threads have to be read to be believed. Most of them do not stick to the issue at hand, leave alone raising it to have better understanding and give strong responses as the women community to pseudo moral elements in the country. 

What is our identity as women? What do we think are our strengths and weaknesses? What is our idea of feminism? What is our role as women in our own lives, in the lives of our near and dear ones and in society? Do not we as women have the freedom and strength to respond with dignity and imagination to bullying? And what methods do we use to do the same? These are all important questions to be answered at this time. There are so many issues and each has to be fought at different levels - individual, family, peer group, as the women of a community / society, as the better half of a nation and so on. There is no meaning in ballooning a small, petty local situation and make it a global issue and particularly in this manner. Should I blame the media? or Should I blame the internet technology? or should I blame us, the Foolish, Selfish, Individualistic, Educated, Internet surfing women of the world who have no sense of discrimination or no understanding of the tools of satyagraha, and have no understanding of our own power and freedom as women? 

We have not done anything to further our cause as women through such a 'campaign'. Campaign is not the word for it, it is an utterly ignominious, irresponsible and indiscriminate reaction on the part of one section of women (and supporting men) that is not at all representative of the women of this country and shows a completely disgusting and inaccurate picture to the world. 

I have the blessing of coming across many women who are true fighters, personally and at work all the time. Some of them have gone through intense personal struggles, ignoring the petty quarrels to win the wars, and come out trumps. These are the real women, real heroes and real feminists in my opinion. One such is here - http://www.samanvaya.com/main/fl-3rd-2005.html