It's all about the Essentials, Bhaaya!

Pk is a movie worth watching.  And giving some attention to.  As I sat watching it, there was initially a question: is the movie trivialising issues? Then, as I continued, I felt, "wow, brilliant!" What a plot and what characterisation.

Image from Indian Express.com

I do not know whether the movie intended this, however the character Pk is at the same time, both a caricaturisation and a questioning of that caricature. To hold both aspects in the same character, and in the same movie, and to be saying it within the usual 2 and 1/2 or 3 hours is something indeed. 

Pk's journey is that of a Hindu's, albeit a caricature. (It may or may not be that of individuals of other religions in India, I cannot comment on it. I am a Hindu and want to only speak of what I think I know of a Hindu's experience) - this journey of encountering the idea of God, trying to make sense of the drama around this idea, his passion and near fanaticism when he unquestioningly accepts the given and said, (sometimes) eventual disillusionment and swinging all the way to the other end - disbelief and questioning, and fewer times, resolution and clarity.  A journey of a lifetime, or many perhaps, has been fitted into about 3 hours.  It will obviously be intense and not a little, overwhelming.  It will obviously garner the heated reactions that it has.  And also because it has not stopped with the caricaturisation of popular status quo.  In Pk's radical shift towards the initial disbelief, and asking difficult questions, and then later arriving at understanding for himself, the movie has used the innate intelligence of the character.  This type of an intense shift, and an intelligent observation of all that is happening, as they are happening, and within the short duration shown, occurs rarely.  It is usually a much slower journey for the ordinary human being, and in such traumatic conditions (of having no way of returning to one's own familiar world and being lost in absolute alien surroundings without any way of fending for oneself), the said human would most probably freeze into the shock of the trauma.  And hence, it makes sense that the character is way, way beyond even a high intelligence quotient of an earthling, and has honed his mind to such sharpness, of being able to pierce through the cobwebs and see a clear picture, even as the picture unfolds or very soon thereafter.  

His journey has all the elements that an ordinary Hindu encounters in his / her tryst with the idea of God.  Many get to the point of questioning and examination as well.  And so cleverly, the movie has not left it at questioning.  The plot has been taken to its fruition - Pk's unique experience also resulted in resolutions of some sort, and action.  It is not necessary that each one's journey, even in the same ideas, has to have the same result.  Each one's would be different according to their questions, their actions and intentions.  Sarfaraz got his lady love, Jaggu found the damn good story that she wanted to tell, Pk got great raw material for research, discovered earthling-type romantic love and managed to reclaim his ticket to return home.

Image from indiatoday.intoday.in

And what of us, the audience? Pk offers his understanding on national (I am guessing) television, no less, while also managing to find a way to unite the lovers (come on guys, this is bollywood, we have to get the lovers together, even if the stereotypes of 'hero' and 'heroine' is getting blurred here) And their case is also intricately connected to the main plot, which we will get to a little later.  

Pk's offering is very clear.  Its about the essentials.  Nowhere does his narrative indicate that we have to throw the baby out with the bathwater.  There is a culture that gets built around each religion, and which is constantly also changing, getting added to, getting reduced and whatnot. All that he is saying as I see it is that let us not allow this to become the reason for our division. A true religion (he talks of this as God, I am calling it true religion) is one that unites, harmonises, and not that which divides us.  What divides us is of our making.  Let us see this clearly.  That is the essential.  If we derive further from this essential, each of us would be true to our native religion while at the same time holding each other in respect and love.  There is no question here of talking of this religion or that.  This essential would be true of every individual, every entity.  Anything can be divisive in nature or otherwise, it is how we treat it.  So let us not give into the division.  Clearly, the matter of how vibrant and intricate culture is, and what goes into understanding this, is not within the scope of this movie. However I do not see anywhere, it deriding any culture per say.  

The other plot of the lovers finding each other is actually well connected to the main running theme. (In fact the plot is quite tightly and well put together).  Sarfaraz and Jaggu had to find each other and had to discover the case of the mistaken identity of the letter writer, for it to be proven that the god-man was a fraud pretending to talk to God.  And this part of the plot highlights so clearly that this kind of conditioning is so insidious and we don't even know that it is a part of us.  Jaggu is an educated, intelligent, rebellious journalist (student earlier), who has gone and done the unthinkable. And yet, it is the fear and conditioning that had her leaving the church in haste. She didnt even think for a moment to have faith in her love, and to question the letter and its contents as meant for her.  It is this subtle point in the plot that is important for each of us.  It is not as much the loud noises and the direct lures and conditioning that we need to question, but our own hidden fears and resulting assumptions.  It plays such a huge and significant role in the lives of the protagonists.  Just imagine, what if she had taken a breath, taken a step in, and thought of Sarfaraz for a moment.  Let us just for a moment, step into ourselves and take an honest look: how many such assumptions and fears do we carry within our selves all the time? And how they limit us and our actions. 

A collector's item, this one. 

Notes:
1. The "Bhaaya" in the title of the post, means "brother" in Bhojpuri dialect and this is the way in which the character of Sanjay Dutt addresses PK in the movie
2. I realise you need to have watched the movie to get some of the details mentioned in the post. Do watch it. :)

What's (in) a Name?

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose,

(1) from statusmind.com

By any other name would smell as sweet" (From Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare)

Beautiful lines that go straight to the heart of the matter - inherent quality and / or meaning.

I have quarreled with my name for as long back as I can remember - Priya.  What a common, ordinary name. During my dramatic teens, I would say that I am going to change my name once I turn 18.  I didn't.

However, my dissatisfaction with my name stayed buried somewhere deep.  This I realised now recently when I read something that gave my name a new meaning for me.

"Sarvam priyaabhyugatham dharmamaahurmaneeshinah | 
Pashyaitham lakshanoddhesham dharmodharme Yudhishthira || "

The above lines from the Shanti Parva, Mahabharatha are translated by Chaturvedi Badrinath as follows:

"Whatever one obtains from being agreeable and loving to all is in the opinion of those who know the true nature of things, the distinguishing mark of dharma from what is adharma"

(2) - from statusmind.com

All then I have to do is cultivate my name, 'priyam' (to feel and be loving) more and more to be aligned with dharma. And anyone who knows me beyond a cursory acquaintance would know how relevant this is for me!  I would have previously come across as anything but sweetly loving.  I might even have said at some point earlier in my life, "sweet! uggh!"

I have now made so much peace with my name.  Further I began recollecting names of people, events, situations, and on a whimsical note: I think that the names actually make so much sense and meaning for those respective entities and their journeys.  Deeper into the whimsy, I think that if the name ceases to make meaning, it changes!  It may or may not be an evident change of say, first name, say, from 'priya' to 'anubhuti' or some such.  But some change would occur.  Yes, its quite a fantastic notion, but there it is.

Traditionally, 'sound' has been given so much importance.  And hence, chanting, sweetness of speech, music, and all alike in the realm of sound are given such a primary place in the order of

(3) from pinterest.com

phenomena and meanings.  An entity is obviously known and called by its name.  Consequently, the sound of the name is made repeatedly, and thereby we infuse the entity's space and being with its meaning.  While the naming itself is an important event no doubt, the name is not a full stop.  It is a journey (as most things are).  And so yes, a rose by any other name would still smell sweet, and by the logic of sound and meaning-making, the sound (name) would change according to meaning and / or it would pervade its meaning slowly into the space of the entity.  This is true at least from my experience, because it has been a revelation that all my life the universe has been first and foremost, teaching me how to love. 

Rest, An Oasis

Image from Barrybuzza.com

The necessity of resting and the results of not resting seem to be so overwhelmingly evident that it would almost seem a foregone conclusion that all of us would undertake to secure this necessary comfort for ourselves.  However, this is not actually the situation and hence the case for resting is stated, re-stated, and repeatedly and tirelessly emphasised in different and diverse contexts.

There is this (awe-inspiring for me) story in the Mahabharata (among many such) from the time of the great war.  Arjuna and his divine charioteer, Krishna enter the tight and skillfully arranged vyuham (a classical formation, strategic positioning and arrangement of the military) of their opponents - this is after the murder of Abhimanyu and Arjuna has vowed to avenge his son's death by killing his killers; they have to reach the centre of the vyuham before sunset that day.  So, after a long, hard day of intense fighting, and still some way to go before reaching their goal, and dusk fast approaching, Krishna actually says that his horses cannot go any further without their water and rest! Then, cool-as-you-please, the duo proceed to do the needful - Krishna stops the chariot, un-tethers his horses; Arjuna invokes an astra and materialises a pond full of water for the horses while continuing to fight, now on foot.  When the horses are rested, lovingly taken care of by their master (I am utterly charmed by descriptions of how much Krishna loved his horses and how he took care of them), he tethers them back to the chariot, Arjuna gets nimbly onto the chariot, still fighting.  And they continue towards the nucleus.  All in a day's work!

I was of course completely taken by the animal-care angle of the story, as well as the unflappable quotient of the scene and its protagonists.  It beats Vijay's cool-as-cucumber Gilli hands down! However, one of my yoga teachers offered yet another meaning to the metaphor - that of the vaahanam (a vehicle, that which carries). That we need to give utmost care and attention to the vaahanam. And that this body is the vaahanam of my spirit, my being.  Hence, we need to pay attention to the body and take care of it.  The body is the instrument of action.

Right in the middle of that bloody war and destruction, an oasis was created for the horses to drink water and take rest. And this is exactly what our bodies (and hence eventually minds - we are a psychosomatic unity no matter how much we try to divide and isolate parts of ourselves) need: the oases of rests, now and then, here and there.

Image from tonydering.com

One kind of rest is of course sleep, and it is well known that as human beings, we do need sleep to function. The contribution of sleep to restoring, repairing, healing, building the immune system, enhancing our creative processes and maintaining the nervous system etc cannot be overstated.  All one has to do is go without sleep for a couple of days to experience what lack of sleep can do to one, just like Shwetaketu went without food for many days to understand what happens.  However I am not sure about an optimum because this would vary from person to person according to their lifestyle, occupation, individual particularities and so on.  Even for one individual, the number of hours needed sleeping may change depending on season, his / her health conditions, foods consumed, recent daily activities and so on.  Each individual may need to experiment and observe to arrive at how many hours of sleep he / she needs on an average.

We also need other kinds of rest oases besides sleeping.  The oasis could be for a few minutes or hours or extend to rest days.  It depends on how much one needs to slow down, recuperate and recharge.  Or completely stop for the time being - if one has overused or abused the body so much.  But rest, we must.

- Taking that one, long breath and checking that you have taken everything that you need before you step out that door could be rest

- Having that cup of tea or coffee sitting, one sip at a time, could give you the rest you need rather than gulping it down as you try to finish other tasks

- A relaxing yoga practice at the end of a working day

- Putting aside everything else and giving your child your complete attention while answering his / her question

- a 15-minutes power nap

- Playing with the dogs when they are frisky and asking for your time

- Stopping in the middle of frenzied activity to sit down and do some praanayaama; you may find the frenzy melting away

-  Just closing your eyes and massaging them by placing gentle palms on them

- Sitting and folding clothes neatly and carefully, without creases, with ends meeting, no tails hanging out

- Washing the dishes while washing the dishes to wash the dishes (Read Thich Nhat Hanh's Miracle of Mindfulness)

- Listening to your favourite piece of music

- Practicing S-L-O-W motion in activity

- Giving your vocal chords a chance to be without work for some time - indulging in some quiet time

- Staring out into the infinite blue of the ocean and breathing with the waves (if you live on the coast of course)

- Taking a long walk without needing to get some place

- Bathing in moonlight and watching the moon climb up the sky

- Learning, practicing and creating Kolams in front of my house, especially pulli kolams

The above are some of my favourite oases of rest.  You would of course have / discover your own besides.  Happy resting! 

How to Start and Keep a Habit

Almost everything is a habit.  Or becomes one.  Of course, the source is a value or intention or feeling or coping mechanism - any of the intangibles.  However they manifest over time as tangible habits.

So, how then can we start new ones and maintain them?  Almost all of us have starting trouble, and / or, once started, maintenance trouble. I certainly do.

One of the primary ways to start a new habit: Just start it.  I mean that.  If we start making lists, planning and scheduling, that means we are procrastinating. None of that.  I have learnt that I jut have to get down to business; no thinking about it.

Image from sporttechie.com

However, one technique that seems to help with starting a new habit / practice, is to do so with an event of some sort. This works for me because 'reverence' is a moving factor (for me). If I start a habit with an important event, or even a celebration, that will in some way almost sanctify the whole deal, and I am surer to revere the process and follow it.  And I think that this is an Indian trait.  Most ordinary Indians seem to be driven by faith in God, and hence starting something in the name of God is more guaranteed to continue.  This seems to work for me too, though not in the 'break-coconut-for-Ganesha' way* (although why not!).  For instance, the early hours before dawn breaks hold a special meaning for me.  For unexplainable reasons (and / or those reasons are not within the scope of this piece), those couple of hours are very sacred, and being awake at this time and doing whatever it is I am doing, becomes very important.  So I try and see if I can somehow, in some way, bring a new habit or some component of it into that space, until it becomes a actual habit.

It is also possible that starting a practice as part of an event makes it public and brings in a factor of accountability for some.  One could put this onus on oneself to make it known to friends, family or others who may be doing something similar, and hence make oneself accountable.  It is also true that one is ALWAYS accountable to one's self.

Now to keep that habit.  Over time, I have figured out some ways that seem to work for me.  There will definitely be other ways, and many more corollary ones that you will find or would have found en route. The following have helped me become consistent with, and make a new practice into a habit:

1) Pegging it with an older habit:  I find pegging to be infinitely helpful.  I link the new practice with an old habit.  One needs to take care that the older practice is something that one enjoys and it is not a chore or an obligation, or that it is a regular necessity that one doesnt even need to think about, to follow.  For instance, getting up and brushing teeth (if that is a confirmed thing for you of course). It has also helped me to peg related practices to each other, rather than completely unrelated ones.  For example, if you want to practice drinking more water, it would help to peg it with a food or water related habit or your movement in the kitchen (or wherever drinking water is, in your home / workplace), rather than pegging it with, say, checking eMail. But, whatever works.  It's interesting and insightful to play with this and see what kind of pegging works for you.

2) Starting small:  I have learnt the very hard way that the importance of small steps cannot be overemphasised.  In fact, I am still learning.  We seem to tend towards making grand plans, starting with a bang, intensely, and the initial energy and enthusiasm fizzles out the moment we hit an obstacle.  Or like a short distance running competition, the burst of energy burns itself out.  We need to think of this more as an ongoing marathon.  So, take small steps.  Dont give up on all the junk food you are having AND include lots of vegetables and fruits in your diet AND start stocking up on organic foods AND learning / trying out new millet recipes, all in the same week.  Perhaps concentrate only on including more vegetables and fruits - or better still, start just with including one fruit a day to what you eat.  You will slowly and automatically start making the adjustments to accommodate that one fruit.  One step at a time, and you will go a long way.  I rediscover this constantly!

3) An attitude of learning:  This may well be the hardest part.  If and when you slip from the practice, and mostly you will, take a breath, take a step in, and look.  At what's happening inside and outside.  What triggered the slip? How were you feeling just as you gobbled up that packet of chips? Later? It's easier said than done, but it needs to be said - it just will NOT help to play the self-blame game.  Self-flagellation is an indulgence of the trickster mind to keep you comfortable and lazy.  Give it a few long breaths (long exhalations), tell your mind "all is well" and that you're okay with some discomfort.  And you're on your way.  Until the mind tries a couple of new tricks.  An attitude of learning, and hence, watchfulness will help.

There are a couple of supportive situations that one can in addition create for oneself:

A) Preparation - I've got to prepare myself with the basics before I can go rock climbing.  Similarly, just check in with yourself to see if you are in alignment with what you want to start; you may well have to go with some intermediate steps and take it from there. (Its almost like another way of saying 'start small')

B) Environment - If you are trying to cut down junk food, it will help to clear the shelves of all junk food packets, and stay away from outings with people who you know will buy / consume junk stuff as part of the entertainment.  Stay away at least until the intention has become a habit.  You may find that you dont miss those outings much in any case.  It helps to constantly re-arrange your environment to suit the pursuit.

These are some start-offs that help me immensely whenever I am trying to start something new, and I keep discovering corollary or new ones all the time.  Happy Habitting!

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* In Hindu culture, it is deemed auspicious to start anything new or travel etc with Lord Ganesha's blessings, and this is typically done by breaking a coconut in front of the temple, and offering as prasaadam (sanctified / blessed by God)
  

Young At Heart or Old and Wise?

Image from hrrindia.com

Am I young or Am I old? Using this particular question and a situation, I realised I was wading through a larger, general problematique of 'tradition and modernity'.

A popular apparel brand has as part of its advertising paraphernalia, the slogan, "Stay young always".  I saw this put up somewhere recently with images of 'hip' teenagers wearing trendy, western clothes and in different poses.  We see this emphasis on youth, all the time, everywhere, and in advertisements, certainly.  It seems like only specific and niche themes want to represent the older population, say, savings and investment towards a house for retirement.  (The themes themselves, what themes target the old and what the young, is in itself a subject of examination but not within the current scope)

The obvious, first explanations for this interest and infatuation with being young are known and understood: youth is associated with beauty, vigour, vitality, strength, adventure and so on.  I believe that all this is true. 

There is also another picture of youth (not portrayed in ads as a rule* for obvious reasons) that is held by society, wherein youth also means irresponsibility, irreverence, rebelliousness, a devil-may-care attitude, brashness and so on. I believe all this to be true. 

Neither do I feel like putting a 'positive' label to the former set of attributes, nor a 'negative' label to the latter.  

The sudden indignant question that arose in me when I saw that ad took me a little by surprise: why should I always stay young?  I realised,

- I at last feel "grown up", even old sometimes;

- I feel that much of youth-time (from my experience, and also that of my peer group, close and far, that I see) has been / is a struggle with life, struggle to understand, not-peaceful, full of drama and so on and I loved most of it;

- I also feel that in my "old age" I am 'settling' to responsibility and I am loving it;

- I feel old and I feel much more gathered, coherent, and at peace with my self than ever before.

I many times see that others in my friends' circles, my contemporaries feel similarly in varying degrees and ways, though they may not use the same vocabulary.  

Then why is there this insistence on staying young?  This staying-young perspective also seems to fear words like 'responsibility' and 'settling' ('settling' is always actually 'settling down' - perhaps this is to do with putting down roots?) 

This fear I believe is the crux of the matter.  Most current public idiom of a certain kind seem to originate and revolve around this fear: the fear of old age.  Because old age means disease, and death.  The inherent fear is that of death.  And hence, none of the products and ads want to become old - a cream to remove 7 or 8 or 9 signs of aging; clothes that are young and trendy; music and technology and food and schemes to stay young all the time, these hit us 24X7, leveraging on that increasing fear of old age.  

image from nirdeshak.com

At the same time, I also constantly encounter an idiom of another kind (although it is growing lesser and lesser I feel).  An idiom, which respects and gives 'old age' and becoming an elder a certain, special place in human engagement, be it personal, social, at the work place... it takes different forms in different contexts.  I believe that traditional Indian culture gives old age a certain respect and place.  And by doing this, I believe that it demands of them certain ways of being that befits them (I sort of explain what I mean by this a little later), through its colourful and intricate tapestry.  For instance, in traditional contexts, I see elders always being graciousness and generosity personified.  And it is a taken that they are that way.  Of course in an Indian context, they are much of the time also hierarchical and authoritative, however I see my elders holding both effortlessly; one doesn't negate the other.  

At the same time, I believe that traditionally young age is also given a certain respect and place; and by doing this, I believe that the same cultural tapestry demands of them certain ways of being that befits them. An immediate situation that comes to mind is that of learning and exploration.  

It seems to me that the codes and grammar of Indian culture evolve in such a way that it is constantly reminding people of their context and station in life.  However, I hasten to add that this does NOT mean that we have to get caramelized into our respective ages such that we don't have the value for, or practice other attributes in necessary contexts.  For instance, I definitely don't think that it is to be understood as, the elderly must not learn or question or be adventurous, or that the young must not be generous. I believe that tradition does deem appropriateness and context as important factors to consider.  Everything has its time, place and context. 

And hence, old and young age, both have their right value, purpose and journey.  There seems to me a gracefulness about this acceptance of, and going with the flow of a natural rhythm of life.  And all practices, rituals, thought-systems, structures etc seem to be built around this understanding and acceptance of the natural rhythm of life and its processes.  What befits each entity is born out of this afresh all the time.  Everyone is on this journey.  

A modern context is always to gain, by its very nature of being modern, because the modern is here, contemporary, in with the changing times, and resultant advantages, an important one being that of individual autonomy and pursuit.  However it is losing out in many significant ways; one such is the loss of this acceptance of a natural rhythm and order.  And hence, the fear of old age.  

The modern inclination to stop the flow and dam everything into compartments has an interesting result.  What in a traditional context is a taken and natural process, and which the path of Yoga gives as a committed and systematic practice, contemporary writings have made into a one-time privilege that is received.  All of the discussion on "old souls" that I have encountered have clearly isolated ideas of maturity in thought, wisdom and so on, saying that there are some blessed ones who are born this way - the old souls.  While the descriptions of old souls are all beautiful, lyrical and tugging at our spiritual and romantic selves, they all seem to be saying that these ideas are available only to a few.  

image from vedicodyssey.com

So, am I young at heart, or have I grown old? :-|

I seem to be in a phase of finding tension areas wherein I simply cannot make an either-or choice; here, the constant tug of war between tradition and modernity.  And I find I cannot choose one over the other.  I cannot also give up both and say that I am beyond either of them.  I am not saintly at all.  My choice and work is in including both, and simultaneously holding tradition and modernity, and keep discovering the truth of life, herein. It is not dammed (damned?) at one point, but a flow!  I am young at heart, "not having a care in the world" as I am playing with my daughter, and completely old, having absolute care for her safety and needs and wants, as we play. 

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* There are always exceptions to rules